Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
