my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
