Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
