I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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