her vagine was all disorganized.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
