I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
