butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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