i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
