Pappa wants mamma naked
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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