enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
