im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
