Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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