god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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