They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
