He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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