Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
