in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
