Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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