Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
