Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
