I just saw a hot homeless man
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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