she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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