I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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