You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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