she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
