She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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