Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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