"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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