i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
