even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
