also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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