check it out our google latitudes are spooning
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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