your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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