Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
