Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
