so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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