his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
