its not stalking. its research.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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