I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
