Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
