So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
