Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
