I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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