Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
