last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
