Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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