Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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