I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
