I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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