She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
