Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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