How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
